he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
