She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
