I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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