This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
