Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
im holly from the hills drunk
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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