i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
one might say we're banned from that church
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize