you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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