it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
