So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize