You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
