I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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