My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
