There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
it's like iHOP with fire
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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