the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
