I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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