I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize