before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
