I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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