Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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