Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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