you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
