Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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