He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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