I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
