you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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