I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
