in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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