Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
