In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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