Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize