i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
