Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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(406): View more from Montana

She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

(409): View more from Texas

That was definitely the right answer.

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(626): View more from California

Dignity is for republicans.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA

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(206): View more from Washington

She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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(469): View more from Texas

Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee

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(706): View more from Georgia

The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it

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