So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
