go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
