Sober January is a disaster.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
