i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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