P.S. I can't hear my feet
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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