apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
