Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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