it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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