you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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