i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
