YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
