My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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