i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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