remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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