Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
