she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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