Will you blow on my dice?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
