When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize