If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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