I wanna passion pit in your ass
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
