Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
