Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
