That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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