maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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