We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
