i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
