Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We smell like vodka and hangover
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