Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
