R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
