Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
