Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
