I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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