well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
