The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize