Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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