I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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