C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
