Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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