Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
