so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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