Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
