We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
