He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
