I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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