try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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