trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
