Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
