AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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